Due Date

Yesterday was Sage's due date. It was kind of a sad day for me. I had hoped and prayed that her birth would not end in a C/S however it did. Now I am very great full for the good medical care that I received and that she was born healthy but it was not the birth I wanted. It was my best C/S overall, I had my great midwife Sylvia by my side as well as Todd, and great team of doctors and nurses that did all they could to make this experience a good one. They quickly brought Sage over to me after she was born for a cuddle and a kiss, and then she was brought to the recovery room to nurse. That was the best moment she was wide awake and alert and so beautiful. I will cherish that moment forever.

BUT it was a C/S. Will I ever get over not birthing a baby from my birth canal. I feel like I did not even birth my babies. One second I was pregnant 2:46 pm and then a moment later at 2:47 I had my third baby. I did not work for it. I felt helpless and not empowered. I felt robbed.

Now two weeks later I am mourning the experience that I will never have. And I am celebrating my Sage.